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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28417077">I'm Here, And I've Got You</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/DirtyTrenches/pseuds/DirtyTrenches'>DirtyTrenches</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Brotherly Affection, Brotherly Bonding, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family Dynamics, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hugs, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Overworking, Platonic Love, TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, hand holding, he gets one :), platonic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 18:14:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,863</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28417077</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/DirtyTrenches/pseuds/DirtyTrenches</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy pushes himself to the point of physical and mental exhaustion in order to churn out content. Wilbur finds out, and makes sure to take care of his younger brother, and make sure he knows he's always there for him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Wilbur Soot &amp; TommyInnit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>922</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'm Here, And I've Got You</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello It's me again, pushing out another Wilbur and Tommy fic after like. 2 months LOL<br/>I didn't mean to not post a new fic for so long, but I had no motivation to make a new fic until literally last night. So here's Tommy and Wilbur hurt/comfort and bonding fic because I need some fluff and overall comfort in this tag LMAO.</p><p>Also:<br/>- Tommy lives closer to Wilbur in this fic than he does irl in order for the plot to make sense<br/>- The pandemic ended earlier in this, otherwise this is very unsafe practice. Use your masks and just generally don't be a shit head guys! &lt;3</p><p>Not beta read. &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A deep shuttering breath escapes Tommy’s lips, his hands coming up automatically to rub deep, soothing circles into his temples, failing to stave off the incoming headache, but making an attempt all the same.</p><p>This is a process Tommy has repeated so often it’s like clockwork to him, monogenous in the actions, but tantalizingly repetitive all the same. Actions he does to calm a storm he’s felt brewing for what feels like years, but has been likely months at its kindest.</p><p>It gnaws and churns through his guts, twisting and turning in ways that’s almost maddening. It’s something that almost aches, though sometimes he can barely feel it at all, almost like it’s not there.</p><p>Recently, though, it’s like something has awoken it to become stronger and deadlier, the threads it seeps into his heart making his emotions out of whack, and making him feel tired in a way he’s never experienced before.</p><p>Ignoring it, he finally pulls his hands away from his forehead, eyes opening to focus blearily on the glaring brightness of his screen, staring at his Twitch channel and stream deck, the ‘Go Live’ button taunting him in its familiarity, but the kind he doesn’t particularly welcome in that moment.</p><p>Tommy wishes he could understand why it feels like a physical struggle to stream anymore, to smile and laugh at the camera as he fools around with his friends on the SMP. Unfortunately, if he did truly understand it, he think’s he would’ve found a solution to it a long time ago.</p><p>Or, that’s what he keeps telling himself, anyways.</p><p>Sighing once again, another action that’s become so repetitive it almost makes him sick, he rubs the bruises under his eyes and ignores the fact he’s slept like shit almost constantly in the last week, and that every part of him wants nothing more than to collapse into a pile on the floor and sink away from the rest of the world, and all the responsibilities he has in it.</p><p>He has to work, and he hasn’t streamed in two days. He can’t let all his viewers down because he can’t take care of himself properly; because his job has become the only thing that his mind can focus on most days to make himself feel at least a little bit sane.</p><p>Blinking owlishly, ignoring the part of his mind blaring at him that this isn’t a good idea and he’s too exhausted for this, he tousles his hair up and makes himself more comfortable in his seat, before hitting the streaming button.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tommy is starting to think ignoring the warning bells in his mind earlier was a bad idea.</p><p>He has been bleary and his mind has felt like absolute static the whole stream. He’s more quiet than normal, and has been wandering around the SMP aimlessly and with no direction, jabbering on about random things that make no sense without someone to bounce off of.</p><p>And, if he notices it, he knows damn well that his stream surely notices, too, a fact he’s becoming increasingly more aware of every time he glances over at his stream labs and sees the chat flying by in concern, his viewers seemingly genuinely worried about his wellbeing, and wondering if he’s sick.</p><p>The thing is, though, is that he knows he’s <em>not</em> sick, just terribly tired and so, <em>so</em>, exhausted, that churning he’s been feeling in his gut growing stronger and darker every second he continues to make himself look like a fool in front of almost one hundred and fifty <em>thousand</em> people.</p><p>Its embarrassing, and he feels his cheeks heat under the pressure of it all, and he desperately wants to summon the energy to act normal and to wake himself up some more, but his brain keeps denying his every request to the point where he wonders if it’s even worth fighting with it anymore.</p><p>He’s snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of discord pinging loudly in his ears, making him flinch slightly as he whips his head to stare dazed at the open discord window on his second monitor for a long moment, before who messaged him finally registers in his brain.</p><p>  <strong><br/>
<em>Wilbur Soot Today At 8:06 PM</em><br/>
</strong></p><p>  <em>Tommy, I’m watching your stream, are you okay?</em></p><p>  <em>You look completely out of it</em></p><p>Tommy stares at the screen, barely remembering through the static in his brain that’s becoming concerningly louder that people are watching him staring at the side doing nothing, before it finally clicks in his brain that he should <em>respond.</em></p><p>Tommy types quickly, despite the exhaustion clinging to his every limb, before turning back to his game and trying to pull himself together, pushing up the façade of being okay and not completely out of his mind with whatever energy he has left to muster.</p><p>He’s walking aimlessly around some spruce woods far away from the usual lands he traverses in the Dream SMP, chopping away wood at random and purposefully leaving a piece left at the top to bother his audience, talking quietly with the people in the chat that aren’t asking about his wellbeing, before another ping echoes in his ears.</p><p>He finishes talking before glancing over, reading Wilbur’s response as quickly as possible to not remain distracted, before pausing and reading it slower when he notices the urgency bleeding through the text.</p><p>  <strong><br/>
<em>Tommyinnit Today at 8:08 PM</em><br/>
</strong></p><p>  <em>I’m fine, big man! Don’t worry about me</em></p><p>  <strong><br/>
<em>Wilbur Soot Today at 8:15 PM</em><br/>
</strong></p><p>  <em>You’re not acting like yourself at all. I’m still watching your stream, Toms</em></p><p>  <em>Wait</em></p><p>  <em>Are those bruises under your eyes? Have you slept at all?</em></p><p>As he’s reading, feeling his face flush in embarrassment the more he gets caught, another ping from Wilbur makes his hands freeze from where they’re clenching his mouse and hovering over his keyboard respectively.</p><p>  <strong></strong><br/>
<em>End stream and call me.</em><br/>
</p><p>Tommy feels a heaviness loom over him, almost as if Wilbur’s going to scream at him, as stupid as the thought is, before it washes away when he realizes that Wilbur is clearly just concerned about him, and would likely not get upset with him.</p><p>At least, that’s what he hopes. He doesn’t want to be a bigger burden to the man than he already was.</p><p>His heart tightens at the thought, and the anxiety comes rushing back with a vengeance.</p><p>His breath stutters a bit on his inhale at slight shock from the words, surprised at the bitterness he felt rise with something he didn’t even know he felt, but it rushed so naturally to his head that he wonders how he was so unaware of it in the first place if he was so clearly feeling it so strongly.</p><p>He pulls himself put of his thoughts, once again forcing himself to at least seem somewhat put together in front of the thousands of people who haven’t seen him like this before.</p><p>He obeys what Wilbur asked of him, a thankfulness that someone stopped him from continuing this train-wreck rising in his heart as he ends his stream as quickly as possible, trying to seem as chipper as he usually is, though likely missing the mark completely. He completely ignores the chat as he clicks ‘End Stream.’</p><p>He takes a deep breath as his gaze lingers on the call button next to Wilbur’s icon, trepidation making his chest burn as he hesitates to click it, afraid that he’s disappointed someone he looks up to with the stream he’s done today, when they both know he could’ve been better.</p><p>He must’ve hesitated for too long, because soon he finds Wilbur’s profile picture and name taking up his full screen, the discord call tune chiming in his ears as he stares blankly at Wil’s smiling icon for a long moment.</p><p>Hesitating for only a few more seconds, he clicks the accept button, and closes his eyes as he buries them in his crossed arms on the desk, trying to hide himself from the inevitable disappointment as much as he could.</p><p>For a long moment, there was only silence between them, one Tommy once would’ve considered comforting and calming, but now only makes him clench his eyes closed tighter, waiting with baited breath for Wilbur to say <em>something, anything—</em></p><p>“Tommy?”</p><p>He practically slurs out a “Yeah?” In response, sleepiness clinging to every eyelash, prying his eyes open to stare at Wilbur’s profile picture on his screen as if it’s actually him in the flesh. He tries to ignore the way Wilbur’s voice sounded so worried, but the guilt making his fingertips tingle slowly proves to him that he’s failing in doing so.</p><p>He can practically feel the protective worry buzzing of Wilbur from across the call, and it makes him yearn to see him in person in order to see his facial expression in an actual good quality, in a way he hasn’t felt since he first saw him in person months ago.</p><p>“Have you been taking care of yourself?” He asks it gently and softly, with a caring undertone he only ever hears from his parents and Tubbo, and it makes him sink into his arms deeper, a sense of comfort overtaking his sleepiness and slight anxiety.</p><p>“’ve been busy…” he mumbles, pushing himself up reluctantly to rub at his eyes, ignoring the way his gut clenches when Wilbur takes a deep breath at his answer.</p><p>He feels the churning from earlier twist sharply. He’s disappointing him; he’s sure of it.</p><p>“That’s…” Wilbur starts, sounding worried, before seemingly piecing his words together. “When was the last time you slept, ate, or showered?”</p><p>Tommy feels a completely unnecessary annoyance flare up in him at all the questions, almost angry that Wilbur even <em>thinks</em> he can’t take care of himself, before sagging in on himself when he realizes the last time he slept and showered properly was three days ago, and that he ate only lunch.</p><p>The annoyance ebbs away completely when he realizes he absolutely deserves to be questioned like this, no matter how small it makes him feel.</p><p>He sheepishly informs Wilbur of this, guilt gnawing away at him when Wilbur lets out a pained noise at the information. Guilt isn’t the only thing, though, as he tenses up slightly in his seat as he becomes increasingly aware that he’s burdening Wilbur with all his problems, exactly like he feared doing.</p><p>Before Wilbur can get a word in, before Tommy has to hear any exclamations of disappointment or anger, he rushes to speak, feeling the need to defend actions that he himself doesn’t completely understand.</p><p>“Wil, it’s just—I have an audience I can’t let down, I have people who, <em>for some reason </em>give a damn about this annoying British kid with an obnoxious laugh that everyone pretends to like—” He spills out, the static he heard in his head earlier returning again with a vengeance, buzzing so loud he doesn’t hear Wilbur’s attempts to cut him off as he continues, feelings he didn’t know he felt spilling from his mouth in waves.</p><p>“So, I have to keep <em>streaming</em> and <em>making good videos</em> so they have an actual <em>good</em> reason to stay, so I don’t disappoint them like everyone else. God knows they can hardly stand me to begin with—”</p><p>“Tommy—”</p><p>He chokes out a bitter laugh, numbly noticing that tears are starting to streak down his cheeks, and he can’t bother to muster the proper energy to brush them away, instead letting droplets of his anguish plop onto the desk below him.</p><p>He continues, the static in his ears still ringing. “And, now I’m annoying and bothering <em>you </em>with my problems, too, and now you’re going to hate me for being such a nuisance and a bother! You’ll hate me and I’ll deserve it, I don’t deserve any less, I’m just this stupid annoying kid you put up with because it gets clicks—”</p><p>“Tommy!” Wilbur practically shouts in order to cut him off, voice tinged with disbelief and a bit of hurt. Tommy sucks in a shuddering breath, a sob torn out of his throat before he clamps his mouth shut, feeling emptier than he felt earlier.</p><p>“I’m sorry.” He mutters, scrubbing the tears away from his eyes, embarrassed for crying and guilty for making Wilbur sit through his childish meltdown and for having to put up with him yet again.</p><p>“Toms,” Wilbur breaths out, voice sounding absolutely wrecked as if he was the one crying himself, before Tommy realizes with wide eyes as he hears Wilbur sniff through the line that he <em>was.</em> “Don’t apologize to me for being honest about the way you feel. Don’t <em>ever</em> feel like that makes you a burden. It <em>doesn’t </em>and it never <em>will.</em>”</p><p>Tommy stares numbly at the screen, disbelieving of the words he’s hearing, and the fact that Wilbur was crying because of <em>him,</em> but giving it his full attention all the same.</p><p>Tommy listens quietly as Wil continues. “Let me just say straight off the bat that, Toms—you’re not annoying, nor a disappointment; in fact, Tommy, I enjoy every single <em>second</em> That I spend with you. No matter how much I play up the ‘He’s annoying’ bit on stream, that’s all it ever will be; <em>a bit.</em> That will never, <em>ever,</em> be my true thoughts. Not in a million years. I’m so proud of every single thing you’ve accomplished! You’ve done so much so young, and you’ve made <em>so</em> many people’s lives brighter just by being in them, and that includes mine.”</p><p>Tommy smiles into his palm, staring at his keyboard as tears fill his eyes again at the fondness in his tone, heart warming knowing that Wilbur cares enough to outright tell him. No matter how much disbelief still clings to his mind, the way Wilbur’s words ring in his ears, with such conviction, makes it hard to believe that any of the words the elder is telling him is anything but the truth.</p><p>“And, Tommy,” Wilbur continues, voice somehow softer than before, voice raw and fragile as if the words he speaks next are such genuine truth he never wants them to shatter. “You will never be just a few <em>clicks </em>to me. We could never stream together again and you’d still mean just as much to me. You are more than your persona, and you’re more than your channels. You’re my little <em>brother,</em> You’re <em>Tommy.</em> And, that’s more than enough.”</p><p>Tommy squeezes his eyes shut as they gloss over once more with tears, heart clenching from the words Wilbur has just spoken to him, clearly baring his heart to him when he knows he needed it most.</p><p>To hear him reassure him of his worth, to hear him call him <em>brother…</em> Tommy feels warmer than he has in weeks, and the darkness he felt looming in his soul shrinks significantly at the words, accepting them for what they are.</p><p>Wilbur’s truth.</p><p>And he knows Wilbur wouldn’t lie to him, not over something like this.</p><p>He doesn’t say anything in response, but Wilbur seems to pick up that he’s grateful, for when he speaks next after a long moment of comforting silence, he seems less worried than he was before.</p><p>In fact, he seems almost excited.</p><p>“Okay, Tommy, clear your schedule for tomorrow and the afternoon after.”</p><p>Tommy blinks in confusion, lifting his head to stare at his discord icon again, grateful that the tears have unblurred from his eyes.</p><p>“Uh, okay, I’ll tell my parents but… Why?”</p><p>Wilbur speaks again, a smile clear in his voice. “Let’s hang out tomorrow, just you and me, so you can give yourself a break from the load on your shoulders. It’s not enough for me to just tell you all this over the phone, y’know, I’ve got to give you at least <em>one</em> hug in person.” The teasing tone in his voice was obvious, but Tommy could tell that he was serious about the physical affection.</p><p>Tommy stares at his computer with wide eyes, before they brighten, an excitement he hasn’t felt in a long time climbing up his heart and making him shake with barely contained happiness.</p><p>“Really, just you and me?” He asks, not bothering to hide his excitement. He hears Wilbur laugh fondly, and it makes his heart tighten happily, hearing his brother figure sound more like himself again, and not the sad mess he left him before with his sad broken words.</p><p>“Yes, just you and me! You can stay the night, too, and we can have a movie night—With your parents’ permission, of course.”</p><p>Tommy nods, despite knowing Wilbur can’t see him. He’ll beg his parents until he’s blue if that’s what it takes for Wilbur to fulfill that promise of a hug.</p><p>It’s almost embarrassing how unlike himself he’s being right now, but the thought of spending a whole day with his older brother brings out a childish side of him he hasn’t felt in a while, making all the negative emotions he felt earlier wash quickly away almost like they weren’t there, even though he knows it’s not that simple.</p><p>“Okay, Wil, I’ll ask.”</p><p>“Good, good, make sure to get lots of sleep, okay? I’ll come pick you up at ten tomorrow if they accept, yeah?”</p><p>He agrees, and they chat excitedly for a few minutes, before Tommy leaves the call in a hurry to ask his parents for permission, thoughts of his embarrassing stream and the ache he’s felt for days vanishing from his mind completely when they accept, having known about Wilbur long enough to trust him, not to mention having met him in person as well to get a good impression of him.</p><p>The confirmation makes his heart soar, and he thanks them profusely with the first genuine smile he feels like he’s let slip in what feels like forever, all the stress of the last couple of months temporarily dissipating when he send’s Wilbur the go ahead.</p><p>Before Tommy goes to bed that night, he makes sure to mute all notifications from anyone besides Wilbur and the other Sleepy Bois, and Tubbo. Despite feeling light and airy at the thoughts of what’s to come the next day, he still wasn’t ready to face concern from anyone other than them.</p><p>Even then, though, he’s not sure if he can handle it from anyone other than <em>Wilbur</em> right now.</p><p>Despite feeling restless, when Tommy tucks himself under the covers that night, he falls asleep peacefully with dreams and hopes of the next day rushing through his sleepy brain.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>  <em>It turns out, the next day was just as exciting as he expected it to be.</em></p><p>  <em>To see Wilbur in person again for the first time in months, was a wonderful feeling, and it felt even more fulfilling knowing in the months since the first time they had become even closer, so whatever awkward tension was between them the first time, had entirely cleared the second.</em></p><p>  <em>Tommy made sure Wilbur kept his promise of a hug when he answered the door earlier that day, immediately wrapping the eldest in a hug as soon as he saw his face.</em></p><p>  <em>Wil didn’t hesitate to hug him just as tightly back, chin on his head and arms wrapped tightly around him, car keys slightly digging into his back. Tommy didn’t mind, though, the warmth of having his brother figure hug him made the pain almost practically nonexistent.</em></p><p>  <em>After saying goodbye to his parents, they both drove to a diner nearby with actual good quality food. They spent the better half of half an hour laughing and joking about whatever came to mind, Wilbur constantly leaning over the table to show him the memes he’d been sending Phil and his hilarious reactions to them.</em></p><p>  <em>Tommy almost forgot his food entirely multiple times, fish and chips not mattering to him as much as they would’ve if he was out with his parents.</em></p><p>  <em>Wilbur eventually just slides in next to him, finally seeming to notice that leaning over the booth was a hassle. They continued to laugh over stuff on Wilbur’s phone, Tommy mildly aware that Wilbur seems to be avoiding Twitter entirely.</em></p><p>  <em>Silently, he’s thankful.</em></p><p>  <em>Tommy felt like he hadn’t laughed and smiled that much in months. He forgot how much of his giggly side Wilbur almost always seemed to dig out of him.</em></p><p>  <em>He was grateful he had Wilbur in his life.</em></p><p>Tommy snaps out of his thoughts as a hand waves in his face, his vision unblurring as he focuses on the man in front of him, who had paused in his actions of trying to win himself a stuffed animal at the arcade they were at, the one they went to when they first met up with their other friends before.</p><p>“Are you alright?” Wilbur asks genuinely, ignoring as the time on the claw game continues to tick down as he keeps his attention on him. It makes Tommy feel loved and cared for.</p><p>He smiles up at the elder, happy and true. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay Wilbur.” Wilbur seems to search his eyes for a moment, trying to detect any lie, before he seemingly believes the words he told him, nodding once with a smile of his own, warm and bright.</p><p>Tommy preens under it, before twisting his smile into more of a mischievous rendition of itself. “Wil, the countdown.”</p><p>Wil looks confused for a moment, before his eyes widen, quickly whipping his head back to the claw machine, hands scrambling to move the handle to get his prize. He mutters obscenities under his breath when he fails to get the Orca whale he wanted, and Tommy laughs loudly at him.</p><p>Wilbur turns to him with a pout, opening his mouth likely to jokingly banter with him, but the sight of the pout itself sets Tommy into a fit of laughter, and he’s forced to steady his hand on the claw machine before him, cackling so loudly he fears falling.</p><p>Wilbur stares at him in stunned silence for a moment, before slowly he dissolves into a fit of giggles himself, more managed and put together than Tommy himself is, but giggly all the same.</p><p>When they both start to calm down, they both turn to each other with blinding grins, warmth bubbling in both their guts at the familiarity of it all, reminding them both of how they acted the first time they came to this arcade.</p><p>Tommy eventually pushes Wilbur to the side, roughly in a joking way, snickering at Wilbur’s indignant “Hey!” and the way he stumbles slightly afterwards.</p><p>He ignores his questioning look as he puts one quid in the slot, and moves the handle when the game begins to start.</p><p>“I’m going to win you a fuckin’ Orca, Wilbur,” Tommy declares, glancing at the taller for a moment, before focusing his attention on the game again. “And, you’re gonna be all grateful ‘n shit.”</p><p>Wilbur laughs, leaning against the machine as Tommy carefully maneuvers the claw over the large Orca stuffy, putting it into position. “Oh yeah? What, because you’re a big man, you can get it and I can’t?”</p><p>Tommy slaps the capture button on the machine, smiling brightly when the claw closes around the sea creature stuffy and lifts it perfectly, slowly moving it to the hatch before dropping it.</p><p>Crouching down, Tommy pulls it out of the flap and holds it tightly, before spinning around to Wilbur, who watched the whole thing with wide eyes, eyes shining with a gleam that could only mean he’s impressed.</p><p>“Exactly.” He finally agrees, thrusting the Orca out to his brother figure, cocky smile softening when Wilbur’s eyes soften, the taller carefully grabbing the plush out of his hands and holding it close with one arm.</p><p>The other, he places on his head, tousling the hair back and forth, Tommy swatting it away half heartedly after letting it happen for a long moment, not wanting to admit that he enjoyed the fond action.</p><p>Wilbur laughs gently, before smiling at him, his lips lilting in a way he can only describe as lovingly fond, and it makes his heart swell that someone other than his parents could direct such a look at him, and by <em>choice,</em> not because he’s their son and they have <em>got</em> to.</p><p>Tommy smiles back, almost wobblily, when Wilbur utters out a genuine, “Thank you, Toms.”</p><p>Wilbur moves back over to him and pulls him close with one arm, pulling him forward as they walk side by side. He snuggles slightly into his older brother figures’ side, finding comfort in the warmth he gives off in the slightly cold arcade.</p><p>They walk around in comfortable silence for a moment, before Wilbur stops and looks down at him, a slightly chaotic grin on his face. “What’s your opinion on getting another Vlog gun?”</p><p>Tommy blinks up at him, before a wicked grin crosses his face, dramatically placing a hand on his chest as he speaks. “Why, Wilbur, I thought you’d never ask!”</p><p>They both laugh, before moving away from each other. Tommy pretends he doesn’t miss the warmth, but the thought quickly escapes him when Wilbur seems to focus on another arcade game to play, and runs towards it with a shout of, “Whoever get’s there first is the superior gamer!”</p><p>And, Tommy races after him, laughing and feeling like a kid again, despite knowing that no matter who gets there first, Tommy will always think Wilbur is the greatest at everything he does.</p><p>He ignores the slight churn of anxiousness he felt all day, wondering when the other shoe was going to drop and Wilbur finally confronted him completely about his breakdown the night prior.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Tommy should’ve known that anxious feeling was warning him of something, when an hour later, after all the laughing and messing around, and <em>finally</em> obtaining another vlog gun— That Tommy forced Wilbur not to break this time, who agreed through choking laughs at the seriousness of his tone— The air around him and Wilbur shifted the moment he walked into the eldest’s apartment.</p><p>It’s like all the pretending nothing was wrong and all was normal was immediately dropped the second they were in private, and it almost made him want to bolt out the door and stay outside forever, if that meant he could avoid the conversation he knew was coming.</p><p>But, all that vanished the second Wilbur turned to him after locking the door, expression gentle and open. It made him remember that, no matter the conversation they have, Wilbur won’t judge him. He proved that to him yesterday, and Tommy trusted him to not let him down.</p><p>Silently, Wilbur walks up to him and opens his arms— after placing the Orca neatly against his pillows on his bed — and without a moment of hesitation Tommy slowly slinks into them, allowing himself to be held as the energy from earlier slowly drains out of him, a drawn-out breath escaping him as he feels his eyes get droopy from an exhaustion he wasn’t aware he was feeling.</p><p>Wilbur’s arms tighten around him after a long moment, his older brother burying his head into the crook of his neck. Tommy squeezes his eyes shut from where his head is buried in the elder’s shirt, arms clenching the fabric of his shirt tighter as he feels tears start to fill his eyes.</p><p>It’s so <em>stupid</em> he doesn’t even know <em>why</em> he’s starting to cry, and it only confuses him more that Wilbur seemed to predict this was going to happen, taking the appropriate actions to make sure he was comforted when it did.</p><p>He feels like he’s dangling from the edge of a cliff, and the only way to safely is by allowing his brother to pull him up to safety. And, that feeling both frightens and makes him feel weak, but also protected and like nothing could ever hurt him.</p><p>It’s such a conflict of emotions it only makes him tear up more, and all the thoughts he felt the day prior, that dark gnawing he hoped he’d never feel again, rushes over him now that all the happy distractions are gone.</p><p>And, it hits him all at once that Wilbur knew he could only distract him for so long, and that it was what he needed after weeks and <em>weeks</em> of feeling like this, but also was acutely aware it wasn’t a permanent solution, so was there in the other way’s that mattered, as well.</p><p>That’s what finally breaks Tommy, shoulder’s shaking so violently as he hiccups and sobs into his older brother’s shoulder, heart both heavy and warm knowing that Wilbur cares so deeply about him.</p><p>It hurts knowing that won’t always be enough. He wishes it was, he wishes it could take the pain away forever.</p><p>Wilbur hold’s him silently for a long time, patiently rocking him and rubbing his back as he continues to dampen Wilbur’s fancy shirt with his tears, before finally murmuring reassurances in his ears that don’t fully register, but comfort and calm him all the same.</p><p>As he slowly begins to calm down, finally stuck with only the occasional sniffle, Tommy slowly pulls back to face his older brother, wiping his tears away as their eyes meet.</p><p>Wilbur’s smile is sad, but still so gentle and <em>oh so warm,</em> and it almost makes him want to cry again, but he knows he can’t spend the whole day crying, so he pulls himself together some more before asking the question that’s been eating away at him since it dawned on him.</p><p>“How?” He practically whispers, not tearing his eyes away from the brown doe eyes staring back at him. “How did you know?” His hand that’s still clenched on Wilbur’s shirt tenses slightly when the eldest moves, but relaxes when Wil reaches up towards his face to swipe away a stray tear.</p><p>“I’ve felt it, too.” Wilbur answers honestly, arms still loosely wrapped around him from the hug they still haven’t completely detangled from. “The expectations you and other’s put on yourself, the pressure to be the absolute best at what you do even if it’s not always realistic, or even <em>enjoyable…</em>” Wilbur takes a deep breath, smiling at him sadly. “I’ve felt it, too.” He repeats.</p><p>Tommy stares up at him in wonder, shocked at a revelation a part of him thinks shouldn’t be all that shocking to begin with.</p><p>“Toms,” Wilbur starts, gentle, detangling himself from the hug to grab Tommy’s wrist, gently leading him over to the couch in the living room, sitting side by side with him. He wraps an arm around him and pulls him close, smiling when Tommy slots his head underneath his own. “It’s the pressure of being a creator, of reading all the comments that think you’re less than nothing, so you feel like you have to prove yourself to them. To prove to <em>yourself</em> that you’re more than they make you out to be.”</p><p>There’s a long pause, and Tommy moves his head from underneath Wilbur’s to face him, frowning when he sees the distant look in Wilbur’s eyes, like he’s remembering something he’d rather forget.</p><p>“But,” Wilbur continues after a long moment, eyes locking with his own, softer than the moment before. “It just burns you out, and you have nothing to gain from it. Because, if the only thing on your mind <em>constantly</em> is to prove yourself, to be better, with absolutely nothing else to keep you going. Well… It’s lonely, and empty, and <em>dark.</em>”</p><p>Tommy swallows heavily, eyes disbelieving as he realizes exactly everything Wilbur is explaining to him is stuff he’s been feeling this whole time, no matter how unaware of it he was.</p><p>And, although this is meant to be something to comfort and be explained to Tommy, he can’t help but feel terrible Wilbur had to experience this same sickening emptiness that he has.</p><p>“Tommy,” Wilbur says, taking one of his hands in his own and squeezing, larger hand encasing his in a gentle grip. He doesn’t hesitate to squeeze back, and Wilbur smiles slightly as he continues. “I never wanted you to feel the way I felt, especially so <em>young. </em>You shouldn’t feel burdened by the worlds expectations on your shoulders, and I wish I could’ve done something to help you sooner.”</p><p>Tommy smiles at him, strained, but genuine all the same. “You’ve always helped me, Wilbur, even when we both didn’t know it. It’s just…” He trails off for a moment, uncertain, but is encouraged to go on when Wil squeezes his hand again to give him reassurance. “I was just… The comments always say I’m so <em>annoying,</em> and that I’m just the stupid ‘younger brother’ you guys put up with, even though you and the rest of the SBI had better people to be hanging out with. I tried convincing myself that it never meant anything to me, that it <em>wasn’t</em> getting to me… But, I guess I didn’t do a good job of it.”</p><p>Wilbur frowns, eyes slanting down in the saddest manner, and it reminds Tommy of last night over call when Wilbur cried when he vented to him in tears for the first time. He doesn’t want to make him hurt like that again, to make him <em>cry</em> like that again.</p><p>“Is that why you said I was only using you for clicks?” Wilbur asks softly, a sadness coating his tone that Tommy wishes he could wipe away. He winces at the question, feeling guilty, but relaxes when Wilbur squeezes his hand once more, assuring him he wasn’t upset with him.</p><p>“It was.” He admits in just as soft a tone, eyes straying from Wilbur’s gaze to instead stare at their intertwined fingers. “I started to believe maybe I <em>was</em> just being an annoyance to you and… I figured you just hung out with me because it benefitted you, and all those declarations of us being friends and me being your… your <em>brother</em>… Was for the viewers.” He gets a sour taste in his mouth as he admits this, feeling regretful that he thought and believed it in the first place.</p><p>After everything that Wilbur has done for him, it feels like a dishonor on the older man’s character, and guilt eats him away, despite the fact he no longer believes it.</p><p>Wilbur pulls him forward gently with their encased fingers, before hugging him with his spare arm, a shuttering breath escaping the brunette as he tightens his grip.</p><p>Tommy hugs back with his spare arm, eyes watering slightly again from the guilt, but he knows he doesn’t have the energy to cry anymore despite it.</p><p>“Do you still believe that?” Wilbur finally whispers, breath fanning over his blond curls from where Wil’s head lays on his.</p><p>Tommy pulls back immediately, a spark of defiance towards his thoughts finally shining in his eyes as he faces the older man, shaking his head sternly ‘no’.</p><p>Wilbur smiles brightly, arm shifting from where it was around his shoulder to instead ‘boop’ his nose, smiling brightly when Tommy blinks at him owlishly at the action, all the cheer seeming to re-enter the eldest’s body at the confirmation that Tommy so resolutely believes he cares now.</p><p>“Good!” He says brightly, eyes crinkling with warmth, before he seems to sober, voice back to being serious, but still light in tone.</p><p>“Tommy, you can’t keep pushing yourself and pushing other’s away.” Wilbur starts, running a hand through Tommy’s hair, the younger happily leaning into the touch, not having the energy to pretend like he doesn’t enjoy it. Wil smiles softly before continuing. “You need to give yourself more breaks, and focus on thing’s other than work and school work, as well.”</p><p>Tommy considers this as he continues to lean into Wilbur’s hand that’s still running through his hair, the contact soft and comforting. “Like spending time with you?”</p><p>Wilbur looks surprised for a moment, before a large smile over takes him, nodding whole heartedly. “Yeah,” he agrees, a soft chuckle escaping him. “Exactly.”</p><p>“I’m here for you, Toms,” Wilbur continues after a moment, pulling his hand away from Tommy’s head and laughing when Tommy lets a noise of protest escape him at the halting of action. “No matter what. I’ll help you with hate comments, and I’ll keep helping you as much as I can like always, okay? You can always come to me for anything at all.”</p><p>“Thank you, Wilbur.” Tommy says, a smile on his face. He feels light again, like he did the night prior after Wilbur’s promise of a fun day. But, not because of a distraction; but because of a <em>solution.</em></p><p>After a long moment of comforting silence, Wilbur finally reminds him of their plans to watch movies together, and Tommy brightens up considerably at the thought of spending more fun time with his brother before the days end.</p><p>They both set up on the couch, a tub of ice cream between them as they share and watch Pixar movies, both pretending like the other doesn’t tear up during the sad scenes in movies like UP and COCO.</p><p>In the middle of COCO, after eating all the ice cream he could handle, he feels his eyes begin to droop as he shifts around in his blankets, pulling them closer to himself and snuggling up into them, slowly sinking completely into Wilbur’s side when the elder moves the treat tub away.</p><p>Wilbur tenses for a moment, likely in surprise at the sudden action, before sinking into him himself, both heavily leaning on the other as Tommy leans his head against Wilbur’s arm.</p><p>There’s a moment of comfortable silence as Tommy stares blearily at the screen, fighting off sleep, before he finally asks a question that’s been churning in his gut for the whole day now.</p><p>“Wilbur?” He asks, practically slurring the words with how heavily sleeps siren call lulls him in. Wilbur merely hums quietly in response, forgoing words, but Tommy knows he still has the elder’s attention regardless.</p><p>“Can we do this again?” He asks, feeling a sheepish embarrassment overtake him as he flushes, feeling childish for asking, despite how much he want’s to. “And, I mean, not just when I’m sad… but whenever.” He stumbles to explain.</p><p>Wilbur shifts beside him, making his face slip from his arm and making him mutter a protest, before he realizes Wil is looking at him, and he turns to meet his much more awake eyes with his own drooping ones.</p><p>Wil smiles fondly, before ruffling his hair much like he did at the arcade earlier in the day. “Of course,” he assures, sounding delighted that he asked. It didn’t occur to Tommy that maybe his friend, who very much has become like an older brother to him, yearned to do the same thing he did. “I’d love nothing more. We’ll have to make time for it, of course, but maybe it can become a thing we do over the weekends.”</p><p>Tommy blinks in awe, surprised at the agreement and compromises. His brain stalls for a long moment, mouth not moving, and Wilbur starts to look increasingly more concerned until Tommy blurts out, “I love you.”</p><p>Wilbur looks surprised, a soft flush on his cheeks from the sudden words— Tommy’s sure he looks similar, surprised at his own declaration— before the brunette’s lips quirk up in the happiest smile he’s seen from him, eyes turning up into crescent moons. “I love you, too, Toms. You’re my little brother, you mean so much to me.”</p><p>Tommy brightens, shuffling closer to the other as if that’ll make the words hover in the air forever. “Really, you mean it? I’m… Really your younger brother?” he asks, disbelief and hope clinging to every pore.</p><p>Wilbur nods, movement jerky yet true, and grabs both his hands, squeezing them both tightly. “You are, <em>you are. </em>I love you, and I mean it.”</p><p>Tommy smiles, eyes shining happily, before repeating the words he said earlier, stronger and with more meaning now that they’ve come consensually from his heart and not been ripped from it without his knowing, brain deciding to say it before his heart was even fully aware. “I love you, too.”</p><p>They smile at each other, hearts warm, before leaning against each other again, Tommy against Wilbur’s shoulder again as they continue to watch the movie, Wilbur more than Tommy, who was slowly slipping into the land of slumber against his— he feels more warmth gathering in his heart thinking it knowing its confirmed— <em>brothers</em> shoulder.</p><p>As he slowly enters the realm of sleep, he feels his brother shift and pull him closer, arm wrapped around his shoulder to make him more comfortable, his other hand still preoccupied with holding his hand. After a moment, he feels lips brush against his forehead, and a murmured, “G’night, Toms, sleep well— I love you.”</p><p>And, although Tommy knows the next day he’ll have to deal with the concerns of his fans and his other friends, the worries don’t bother him nearly as much when he knows he’s got Wilbur at his side, helping him through it all.</p><p>He falls asleep with a soft smile on his face, safe and warm.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>They! THEY!<br/>I seriously love writing their dynamic, so I definitely will be writing more eventually!</p><p>If you saw a mistake no you didn't,, lol</p><p>Comments would be appreciated, hope you enjoyed! &lt;3<br/>Twitter: @AcidicStars<br/>Tumblr: @DirtyTrenches<br/>Instagram: @Dirtytrenches</p></blockquote></div></div>
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